There is a saying that goes: “Love yourself before you love anyone else.”
This is the reason I masturbate. After all, I’m always learning something new about myself. For me, it’s a connection to my soul—the core of who I am.
But loving yourself is more than masturbating. It’s how you think, how you dress—how you feel about yourself.
I love me. And the more I know about me, the more I want to know about me. This means I spend a lot of time alone figuring out who Lola Gentry is. That doesn’t mean I masturbate more (though I am more active than some of my friends). I simply like time alone, getting to know me, falling in love with the best qualities of me.
Love yourself. Get to know what makes you tick. Look at your soul.
My boyfriend doesn’t understand this. “Can anyone really know their soul?” he asks.
Yes. I know mine better today than yesterday. And I believe I’ll know it even more tomorrow.
I don’t always like what I find there, but I know those dislikes are adjustable. And the more I like about me, the fewer dislikes I have.
It’s good therapy, which I have started using on my boyfriend. He’s a bit defensive about the idea of loving himself, so I have been helping him along. When we make love together, I stare at his eyes, looking at his soul.
The eyes really are the windows to that otherworldly place there. The next time you’re making love, look deeply into your lover’s eyes. Stay immersed in them and focused. Experience the whole event from that perspective. You’ll know a deeper part of love—sometimes without either of you ever saying a word. And the orgasms can be very intense.
(He laughs as I type this. Reading over my shoulder, he says, “You orgasm at the drop of a hat.” It’s true. I can orgasm almost anywhere, even while driving, which can be damn dangerous. But there’s something about a vibrating engine and bumpy roads that get me off. I’m shit-out-of-luck if they ever fix the potholes in the streets around here. But passengers and pedestrians will be a lot safer.)
So, make a date with yourself, love yourself, and get to know the real you.